Restricted: A novel of half-truths by Kinsel Jennifer

Author:Kinsel, Jennifer [Kinsel, Jennifer]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2010-09-12T04:00:00+00:00

11

You Need Money for That

After two weeks of working hard in the program, fate decided to throw in another problem for me to deal with at the same time. I received a bill in the mail for the first few days of treatment. Since I had no health insurance, my parents were going to have to pay for everything. That meant dipping into my father's retirement fund and cashing in other financial stocks in order to pay for my care. My eyes scanned through the lengthy bill and stopped when it came to the bold, black print, indicating what we owed to the hospital.

$1,000 for three days in the program. 12 hours total. 9 hours of therapy and 3 hours for dinner. I could not believe the outrageous price that had been placed on a treatment plan to help save lives.

Immediately, I felt guilty. Before I started, my parents agreed to pay the amounts due and they knew what the amounts would be. But I only had a vague idea and it was even more shocking when the days were added up and staring at me in large, bold print. I felt guilty that they were going to shell out thousands of dollars just for me, for something that I had brought on myself, any way. Thousands of dollars that could be spent on much more important things were going to be used for my selfish need and me. I did not want to take away their hard-earned money. I felt as though I was not worthy enough of that kind of price tag. I assumed that once my parents saw the numbers adding up, they would pull me out of the program, but would still keep me in long enough to get something out of it.

I was scared to show my mom the bill, so being the clear-and-outgoing-communicator I was, I left the bill in front of her chair on the kitchen table. I did not want to see a freak out reaction if I showed her myself so I avoided the situation altogether and left it for her to read alone.

I did not want to be the cause of any financial problems my parents could run into. They wisely saved their money and planned it out so they could live comfortably after retiring. Because of me, their security would now be tampered with. Their hard work would be dwindled away because of my decisions and actions. I felt selfish for knowing that they would now have to pay for me. Even though it was for something important, a legitimate medical issue, I felt that it was not important enough.

Because the medical issue was an eating disorder, my thoughts screwed around with me and convinced me that an eating disorder was not really a serious medical problem. I did not have cancer or another life threatening disease. I brought on my eating disorder, I caused it. Not only that, but I was an adult. My parents were not legally responsible for me any more but they agreed to pay for my treatment.

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